I still tried to make conversation with Pablo, but he didn't show any interest. I showed up to every party hoping he would be there. The only way I could get him to answer me was to argue with him and talk about other people's relationships. Everything I did, I acted like Pablo would see... he really motivated me but it's still sad. 

Then there was 3 weeks of school left, and we got a new P.E. group. I was SO excited because Pablo was in my PE group!!!! And to top it off, it was swimming! I am a competitive swimmer and swim every day for 2 hours. I lapped almost everyone in the group. Pablo was like, "Woah, you're SO intenseeee!" I loved him so much but I knew he liked Clara, or Olivia. Then one day we were emailing and I reminded him about swimming the next day, he said, "I mean it wouldnt be so bad if they were cute like u but they ARENT:/ ugg" because he was always being put with girls. And then a few days later he said, "Lol, your so cutteee:P lol i was talkingto makenzie today and she really thinks u r AAWWEESSOOMMEE" The next day.... was my friend's partay.

At my friend's party at a lake, this all changed. I wore a bikini :P, not that revealing but it was very small. On the way there, all the girls were flirting with the guys and running around and sitting on top of them... someone pushed Clara on top of Pablo... I was very angry. I wanted to CRY. When we were there, there was a giant crawfish that Pablo picked up. It was trying to pinch him and he cursed at it and dropped it. I flirted with him and told him to not hurt the poor little guy and I threatened to throw a rock at him. He picked it up again and dropped it. I went to go get a tiny pebble because I didn't want to hurt him. And I threw it at him. He was like "GRRRR, rock or in!" He was going to push me in the lake if I threw another rock at him.... Then the poor crawfish was about to go over the side of the pier and Pablo saved it but it pinched him. He got mad and pushed it with a plastic ring but it flew over the edge. I pretended like I was really mad and threw and rock at him and he pushed me in. OMG he is so sexy! But then, on the boat ride, I saw Olivia and Pablo on the same tube... yess I felt like someone killed me and asked why I was dead. On the ride back though, PABLO SAT NEXT TO ME.... AND HE ASKED ME IF I WANTED TO LISTEN TO MUSIC! I was about to BURST WITH HAPPINESS. We were sharing an earbud and Makenzie was like, "OHHHH BELLA!" By that time I had been researching how to tell your ex you still love them without really telling them...

I asked Makenzie if she would ask Pablo if he still liked me but he didn't really answer her.

When I got back home, I emailed Pablo... (ill put our convo down here! ↓)
me: remember that time when we used to be like close? that was so fun! i miss those times... we should hangout more!!!! :P we always have fun together :D 
him: do you wanna be just what we used to be..? i sorta do, cuz im NOT moving!!!
me: yess!!!! like yeah-  wait ur NOT? yayyyy!
him: do you understand what i meant when i said that??
me: friends!!!! yeah, right? wait what DID you mean?
(i did NOT wanna seem desperate!!!!)
him: ummm, nopppeee:P what we were like when we were at memorial mall, i sorta miss having you like thatt... 
him again: ummm, like, shttt, idk if i should say itt
me: i miss you too... like that...
him: will u go out with me:P ill ask in person monday if u wan
him again: yeahhh
me: of course i will ;)

I loved him so much and I never thought that this would ever happen. 
And I remember that I had this wish token... good for one wish, I wished that he would still love me. Then at 11:11 every time, I would wish for the same thing, and it came true.
That night, he told me he loved me, for the first time in a long time. :) nope, nothing could get better than this.     

After that a popular was gonna have a pool party! I thought it was PERFECT for my new bikini! I wore and I rocked it! There was a dunking station, bungee jumping thing, waterslide, and pool. Pablo and I went down the water slide together holding hands!! Yep, this love could NEVER break. Then at the dunking booth, Pablo dunked me, and I got out and hugged him... in that bikini!! It was risky but it was worth it. Sparks flew. But then later that night, I was crying so, so hard. All the rumors that were flying around... were devastating. I couldn't go to the popular's sleepover because of a soccer game. I really should've gone... Pablo had asked out my BEST FRIEND AGAIN!! Rumors were destroying me... because WE WERE STILL DATING. I confronted him about but he said it was a dare. After that, I was so worried he would leave me. At school, Pablo would flirt with Clara, my best friend. He would text her more than me, he would talk to her more than me. They were always together. He didn't reply to my emails after that. He didn't call me cutie or babe. One day, I saw them walking together. I was so close to breaking. He didn't hug me anymore. I didn't see it coming. One night after soccer practice, I checked my email, expecting one from a friend. Smiling and cheery, I clicked "Gmail" and smiled as I saw there was one from Pablo! He had actually started a conversation with me! But then I opened it and immediately burst into tears. I was blind. He said, "Bella i need to tell you something:/ my parents just told me im moving next year, and i dont wantto get attached to you:( i really really like you, and i would have never done this if it werent for my leaving. Bt i am:'( i think we should just be really really good friends:) and if i dont move, then i promise you the first thing i will do is see if you wanna go out, but my parrnts say that we r, so i cant get even more attached" He is a good liar. I was depressed about the breakup. But after that he spent more and more time with Clara. Oh, I forgot to mention that Clara told me she really, really liked Pablo when we were still dating and if he ever broke up with me to ask her out, she would say no because she knew I liked him. Pablo and I had dated for a month exactly. But 2 weeks later, my other best friand, Mackenzie, showed me something. They were conversations between Clara and Pablo. He asked her out. But wait a minute there, he broke up with me because he didn't wanna get too attached, right? So he lied to me. That sucked. But Clara was a good friend and said no. He asked her if she said no because he was too sexy for her. Then he said, oh never mind, you're just too sexy for me!! They were flirting like he never flirted with me. After that I began questioning his trust.....

I sent him a couple emails....He would only reply to about 10% of my emails. It was basically a one-way conversation. I was happy just AT LEAST being friends but the worst feeling in the world is when you miss someone so bad and you know they don't miss you back. I started to get really angry about him lying to me... that was probably the only way he would answer me, though. I said, "u know... "i promise", "i am sorry", and "i love you" all end in 8 letters.... WELL SO DOES BULL****!!!! i know u lied 2 me- im smarter than i look; noww wat did u lie 2 me about? If we r "amazing" friends, i have a right 2 know" But he was mean and cold straight back by replying, "i know you arent stupid so i dnt really care if you say stupid things like that last email, you know that i wasnt lying, but if you dont, then thats your problem, not mine" He was rude, and I felt like someone had stabbed me in the heart. The next day in computer class, we were working on a project... Clara didn't have her flashdrive and so she emailed her project to herself. Well, I have to admit, I looked over her shoulder while she was in her email... There was one from Pablo saying, "i really like you... im breaking up with bella" FLASHBACK AGAIN: didn't he say he was breaking up with me because he was moving and didn't want to get too attached? And also, we had to represent a country for this project... and my best friandd, Mackenzie, had stole his flash drive :P. She gave it to me and we looked through it. He was doing Canada for his flag project. He isn't Canadian. But Clara is. I was mad... I confronted him about both things. He replied, "idk is it a tiny black flash drive, if it isnt its not mine. Btw im not a f*cking trinidadian, my step grandmother has a sister r something form trinidad" Wow. What a lie. It was probably "or something". That is one of my best skills, lie detecting...but Pablo.... MAN he was sneaky. He's about the only person in the WORLD that can lie to me without me knowing. And he also said this, " I don't remember sending somethin like that to her. I didnt lie to either of you, when we were dating (me and you), i did like her, honestly, but thats not why i broke up with you" Yes, Pablo... that's NOT why you broke up with me... well, that's not what you TOLD me. He lied to me all the time.

We were the hottest couple. He flirted with me ALL THE TIME. He said really sexy things to me and he called me babe and cutie. He called me hot and cute everyday. And the one thing that indicated he really did love me is that he told me everyday. We went to the mall together and were there for 2 hours. I bought new lip gloss and an abercrombie bikini.That thing is SMALL. And very skimpy. When we were walking around, he said,"NO! I can't let you carry that!" And I was like, "No, it's ok, you don't have to!" But he insisted that he HAD to carry the bags. They were super light, but I argued with him just so he would take them XD. It was really sweet and I thought a love like this would have to last forever!!! I felt this was the best life could get. He's just so LIKEABLE!

We had actually gone on our first kinda date!!!

This blog is about my most heart-breaking experience. with a guy.


This guy, Pablo, I had been crushing on for a while. He was hot, strong, nice, sweet, and knew how to flatter someone. There were 5 other people in the grade that liked him and still do. He asked out my best friend. I refused to talk to her because she knew I liked him but she still said yes. Their relationship had lasted for about a week. I was SO happy when they broke up! But eventually news got to Pablo that I liked him. He avoided me, and I pretended like i HATED him. Then that one day, I was carrying a lot of books on the way to Chinese class, when one of my guy friends had closed the door on me. I managed to get through, but barely holding on to my books, when Pablo came and he said, "Hey, you probably don't want me to help you, but here I'll take your books!" My heart melted like a marshmallow when he talked to me. I tried not to look so desperate and handed him one book and he followed me to my seat. At lunch the next day, one of the populars said, "Guess who Pablo likes!!!!" to her best friend. Then the same popular whispered, "Bella!" I could barely hear her, but I am like a bat, I can hear EVERYTHING! The next week, his best friend came up to me and said, "Do you like Pablo?" Of course, I said no, I never like people knowing secrets that can make you vulnerable. She said sympathetically, "NOO! He REALLY likes you!" I was so happy that day. Pablo was amazing, everyone wanted to date him, he had already dated 4 other girls that year. But I decided to live in the present, and not to think about the future, the bad, and to be positive. I'm an intelligent girl, but also very stubborn and stupid. There is a difference. And I learned that later, and made an even bigger, even more foolish mistake. Back to the past, now. One day after school, I was packing my bag. He came up to me and handed me a drawing. It was BEAUTIFUL! It was of a flower, with a rainbow, and a tree.... with my name etched into a the tree. I was like, "OMG, this is SO nice of you!" He said, "Well that's kinda the point. Hey listen, will you go to the dance with me?" I again did not want to seem desperate so I said in a sweet voice, "Yeah, sure!"


We went to the dance the next week. My legs are good looking (to me), so I wore short jean shorts and a cute loose top. Our dances are 3 hours long, seems long, but passes in an instant, just like happiness. Sadly, Pablo got there an hour late. But we danced and he apologized for being late. I already knew he was going to ask me out; I have good friends ;). You know who you are!! But nothing could ruin that moment of safety when I was in his arms. Not to be a pervert or anything but he smelled SO good! I was immediately caught under his spell. Then, this girl that had been in love with him since the beginning of the year, Olivia, grabbed his arm and said, "Pablo, let's dance." I was so pissed. Pablo WAS mine and Olivia needed to BACK OFF. The next time, though, we danced, it felt good to be back in his arms. I felt like the luckiest girl in the WORLD. On the next slow song, I searched for him, and found him dancing with one of his ex's, Zania. Zania was crazy for him just like everybody else.

Later that night, I was talking to Zania's best friend. She was talking and said, "Yeah, tonight's been a good night! I broke up with my boyfriend and I found out that Zania's crush might like her!" I knew who that was but I just smiled like the sweet person I am and said, "OMG that is exciting!" I am generally a calm person and can control myself when I want to hurt someone. That is a good virtue considering what is still to come. At the next dance, it seemed automatic that I looked for him, for Pablo. I ran into him, right as he was looking for me. We danced. It was the song "No Air" by Jordan Sparks. Now when I hear that song, it hits a painful spot. But he said, "Hey, how would you like to be my girlfriend?" I said, "I would love it." He pulled me closer. I felt there was no better place on Earth. I could die in his arms, knowing I was safe. It was heaven. We were now dating and in my head I was laughing at every other girl that he didn't chose. 

This was the spark of the blazing fire that destroyed many trees.

I Am Broken On The Inside...

Hi guys, my name is Bella. This blog will basically be about the tragic tales and heartrending parts of my life. All caused, and all started, by one guy.

To start you off, let me introduce some people.

Pablo- My ex. He was super sweet, super nice, super cuteee, until he broke up with me. We got back together, but then split. Again. I then saw the worst side of him, that I never thought I'd see. I miss him, though :(

Fred- My new BF! He's super sweet! He sent me this really cute drawing. He only asked me out today, but I really like him!

Olivia- Olivia is this girl who's liked Pablo since the beginning of the year. When Pablo and I were together, she ALWAYS used to flirt with him. I could sort of see Pablo and I splitting, because suddenly, Pablo started to flirt BACK with Olivia ;n;...

Zania- Zania is this girl who isn't the nicest. SHE TOO <3s Pablo! She's dated him before, though. But she basically caused me and Pablo's split! I was so angry! I told her I didn't trust him that much, and she told him, and then he told me that if I didn't trust him, we shouldn't be dating. She tells him EVERYTHING!

Nick- Nick is my hug buddy! When I'm sad and stuff, I usually hug him when I'm sad, but he's always there for me! When Pablo was mean to me, I hugged Nick in front of his face >83 I'm so evil. But at one point, Pablo wished me 'Good luck with Nick(;" and I was like: o-o..

So thats basically it! If I have to talk about someone else, I'll introduce them too!

-Bella